How it feels to be a teenager..

Believe it or not, I thought about my blog a few weeks ago. I was laying down in bed, under my down comforter that I love to get under during cold winters, my cup of Cinnamon Twirl coffee on my nightstand and a book in my lap and I kept thinking was how I was wanting to write something. The holidays are up, Christmas is my all time favorite holiday. And for so many reasons. However, all I could think about was how it feels to be a teenager.

As I've told you once before, I took on the challenge of being FCA Sponsor of the school I teach at. I felt like it was something that was laid on my heart as soon as I got hired to teach at Perry County. It all went smoothly at the beginning of the year. I gave out applications for leaders, "interviewed them", got references among other teachers and chose 6 great students to be the officers for the school year. Everything was peachy....

One officer (not saying names for the sake of the student) I know extremely well. She was in my very first class as a full time teacher here. I guess you could say we're pretty close as far as our teacher-student relationship. I think very highly of this girl- except her attitude. I always see to hear bad language slip out of her mouth, and I hear that she will gossip heavily whenever she's in class. All I think of is "She's supposed to be an example..."

I've called her out a few times on these things. Just reminding her that she is being watched and that she needs to be aware of her actions. She's really a great student. Sweet, creative, smart, fun, outgoing, respectful to teachers. That's why it makes my skin crawl when I see such foul actions come from a nice person.

And then all hell breaks loose.......

The other day, she bumped into a girl she was having issues with. Instead of walking away from snide remarks she turns around and shouts at the top of her lungs, right in the middle of the hallway at school...

"__________ IS A SKANKY WHORE!!!!"

When I got the notice that she was being put in detention for that behavior, I had no idea how to handle it. Finally, I walked over to the detention room and pulled her out for a chat. As nicely as I could, I told her that when she is a leader I expect a certain behavior from leaders. Since this was her numerous time acting out of line, and though will always be welcome to be active in FCA, she could no longer be a leader.

She looks down at the ground and bursts into tears.

And then it comes back to me. Just how it feels to be a teenager, like everything on Earth is falling down on your shoulders and there is not a single soul in the world who knows how you feel or what you're going through. How you try so hard every single day to be the best human being you could be and yet there is always someone there to tear you down as you are just being built up. How it feels like the world will just end if you do not get this group of people to hang out with you or get the guy of your dreams to ask you to prom. All of those feelings came back to me in that moment.

I had a good long heart to heart talk with her, letting her know that she doesn't need to beat herself up and that everybody screws up. But in the end, you are still going to have consequences for her actions and these were some she was just going to have to experience. It broke my heart to no end that I "demoted" her from her leadership position and even now I still feel terrible. Nevertheless, I know it's the right thing to do in the end.

God, thank you for that student and for showing me again what it was like to be a teenager. Now I feel like I can relate to them and reach out that much more.